Monday, June 20, 2005

Holy crap! They moved me to Tuesdays.

Yes, the chatter is true. Starting in the fall Monday Report, the best show in Canada, is moving to Tuesday. This may seem odd at first glance, but realize that it’s actually part of a greater strategic initiative instigated by Canada’s public broadcaster to confuse the hell out of English language audiences. Forgive them, Lord, they know not what they do.

We ended the season as the highest rated comedy show on the Network. Clearly some drastic changes were needed.

Actually we are moving because the powers that be need the Sunday/Monday night real estate for a series of high impact Canadian dramas and mini series.

The life story of Tommy Douglas, Shania Twain and Walter Gretzky are already in the can, along with a top secret project entitled “Pierre Trudeau Boy Detective.”

The mind boggles.

Am I bitter? Not in the least. It should be noted in fact that I went to Ottawa last year with the actors union and lobbied the federal government for increased funding for indigenous Canadian drama. It worked so well I’ve lost my time slot.

Congratulations to everyone else involved in the effort.

For obvious reasons there will be a name change.

As for me, well I’m sitting on a pile of useless promotional swag.

On the upside an orphanage in the third world is going to receive a bunch of Monday Report shirts and jackets any day now. Tragically they will all be extra large. Although who knows, in the grand scheme of things this may be one of the more successful promotional moves the CBC has made in years.

So the show will now be called “The Rick Mercer Report.” I was going to go with “Rick Mercer’s Tuesday Report” but I don’t have the money to order new t-shirts at Christmas when they move us to Wednesday afternoon. Keep The Audience Guessing is our motto.

As of now Monday Report is in reruns (check your local listings). The big move to Tuesday will happen sometime in the fall.

Anyway, that’s the news here. I’m moving to Tuesday and this is in fact the first entry in my new blog. I have found that I spend a fair bit of time reading blogs lately and thought I’d give one a whirl.

I ask you: Is there anything more pathetic than sitting indoors while the sun is shining reading a blog written by Monte Solberg? That Monte, he can be kind of funny for a nut.

In an effort to be fair I would mention a Liberal blog that I read, but I’ve never stumbled on one that is interesting.

Like the Prime Minster and all new bloggers, I promise to write everyday but I probably won’t. But please check back.

I have to go now. I just looked out the window and Stephen Harper is behind my shed with Jason Kenny attempting to light my barbecue. I’m going to have to put the hose on those two. Whatever they are doing out there it seems unholy to me. If I’ve told Harper once I’ve told him a million times: “Be spontaneous and ingratiating somewhere else.”

I support the concept of nice Tories, but not in my backyard.