Monday, November 27, 2006

Pawn to King Four

Well you got to hand it to Stephen Harper the man is on a roll.

The Tories love to say he’s great at his job because he is, above all, a chess player.

In one smooth move he stood up in the House of Commons and with a few words he embarrassed the block and protected his seats in Quebec.

And all he had to do to accomplish these lofty goals was table a simple motion saying that the government of Canada now recognizes that the Quebecois form a nation inside of a nation.

So all you kids in grade three who just learned that Canada is ten provinces and three territories, forget that, that’s all changed now.

We are now nine provinces three territories and a nation inside a nation. But when you write that down kids you might want to use a pencil because there’s going to be a lot of new nations you’re going to have to learn about.

Take the Cree for example. In Quebec. If the Quebecois are a nation clearly the Cree are a nation. Well actually they will be a nation inside a nation inside a nation.

It’s a little mind boggling. Imagine if you were a Cree person, who’s gay, you like the Blue Jays and you live in Quebec. You would be a member of the Cree nation who hangs out in the queer nation, cheers for the Blue Jays nation, lives in the Quebec nation which happens to be in the Canadian nation.

Yes Harper is quite the strategist, but clearly he didn’t grow up in a huge family. Because Canada, as screwed up and dysfunctional as we are, is still a family. And anyone who grew up in a large family knows that sure, some kids might get away with more than others, some kids might even get special treatment, but there’s not a hope in hell that mom is ever going to stand up and recognize one child as the favorite.

No special status.

And why? Because moms know that if they ever put that down in writing, say in a birthday card, that’s exactly the type of thing that could eventually bite everyone on the ass and lead to the destruction of the whole bloody works.

So while it’s too early to say what if anything Harper’s move means, he certainly does play a mean game of chess.

I just hope he realizes Canada is not a board game; it’s a nation.

And we only have one to lose.